Baby G's

My partner & I met when I was just 16 and he was 17. We have been together ever since and in 2021 we decided to move out together & start to try for a family. We thought that if we just had sex once, magic would happen and a baby would be implanted. Little did we know what we had ahead of us…

In September 2023, I had quite severe cramping that I booked an appointment with the GP as I thought I may have a urine infection. The doctor asked me to do a pregnancy test before the appointment to check I wasn’t pregnant. To my surprise, I was standing in the doctor’s toilets staring at a positive pregnancy test! That evening we were jetting off to Spain to see Sam’s mum & sister and we couldn’t wait to tell them the news.

Unfortunately, in the October I started bleeding in the evening and had to fill out a form online for a call back from the East Surrey Hospital EPU. I couldn’t sleep all night as I knew something wasn’t right. The next day we had to go along to the unit for a scan which was right next to where everyone was having their 12wk, 20wk etc. scans. The scanner in the EPU ‘cupboard’ let’s call it was broken so I ended up having to go to the usual scanning room where I was told I could watch the scan on the TV screen in front. I knew something wasn’t right so I didn’t want to look. It was confirmed I had experienced my first miscarriage.

I remember pulling on my pants and trousers, crying and sobbing in the waiting room. None of which was dignified or mindful. I thought that would be it and I had my ‘bad luck’ however, in June 2024, my second miscarriage and in July 2024 my 3rd. I experienced heavy bleeding, strong cramping and of course the emotional grief which comes with pregnancy loss.

I had tests done at the NHS Recurrent Miscarriage clinic and was told there was no reason found for the miscarriages, so I was discharged and told to keep trying.

I tried to research support groups or counselling, with not much luck from the hospital or other services. Only in January this year I discovered a charity called Oscar’s Wish Foundation who support those who have experienced baby loss and had 6 sessions of grief counselling. This counselling gave me the space to feel like a mum and feel accepted to grieve my babies.

Our 3 Baby G’s live forever in my heart, and I can’t wait to meet them one day and make up for all the lost time we had here earth side. We’re still hopeful to one day meet our rainbow baby too.

I am really passionate about trying to change the NHS experience for women experiencing loss and there being more support out there for ladies & men.